Is Emotional Eating at the Root of your Weight Struggle?

We eat for so many reasons beyond physical hunger: We eat to celebrate, to entertain, to comfort ourselves, to reward ourselves – even if that reward is just for getting through our busy day!

We learn to turn to food as a way to escape our feelings – whether it’s loneliness, boredom, stress, or overwhelm.

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Many of the women I work with don’t initially identify as somebody who emotionally eats.

Often it’s because we don’t relate with the stereotypical “emotional eater” who’s crying in the corner consoling herself with a pint of ice cream because she just got dumped by her boyfriend. Of course, we’ve all seen this girl in many a television show or movie.

But the truth is you don’t have to be going through some emotional upheaval to use food to escape.

There doesn’t have to be any tears, pints of ice cream, or a broken heart.

No, emotional eating can be much more insidious.

Feeling bored? Entertain yourself with a snack.

Feeling stressed? Comfort yourself with a cookie.

Feeling anxious? Crack open the bottle of wine.

Feeling stuck with work? Procrastinate with a coffee break…and maybe something sweet, too.

Had a hard day? Reward yourself with a treat!

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Here’s the thing:

You can have the perfect eating plan, and all of the nutrition know-how, but if emotional eating is at the root of your weight struggles, permanent weight loss will forever elude you.

Eat only when you’re physically hungry. Stop when you’re satiated.

It’s such a simple concept, yet not at all easy in practice.

(If it were, losing weight wouldn’t be so hard).

Not picking up the food and putting it into your mouth is the easy part; the challenging part is the emotion that you feel when you don’t.

Besides…why would we choose to feel discomfort when we can numb it with food, wine, Netflix, or a pill? It seems downright counterintuitive.

Most of us were never taught how to feel our emotions.

Instead, we learn to react to them, resist them, or avoid them altogether.

Then we practice the habit repetitively for years, even decades.

Soon it just becomes automatic to reach for the food (or drink) to feel better. 

Sure, there’s some momentary pleasure. But consider the net-result after the experience of enjoying the food is over – beyond the instant gratification.

Often we’re left with feelings of shame, guilt, or disappointment (not to mention more weight gain or uncomfortable symptoms).

And when those feelings are running the show, how do we show up in our lives then?

Often we’re left seeking more comfort and solace, and so the vicious cycle continues – reach for more food to numb the discomfort.

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Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Eating

We have to be willing to ask the hard question: What is it that I’m afraid to feel?

Consider for a moment that it might not be as uncomfortable as you think.

Keep in mind that an emotion is just a vibration in your body.

What comes bubbling up to the surface when you don’t reward the urge to eat with food?

That is the emotion that you have to be willing to open yourself up to.

Be present with it.

What does the emotion feel like in your body?

Try describing it in terms of sensations (i.e. a hollowness in my chest) as opposed to just naming it (i.e. I feel stressed! I feel anxious!)

Can you point to where it is in your body?

Can you identify the thought that you are thinking that is creating it?

It takes some work, but the more you’re willing to feel an emotion, without numbing it with food, the faster it dissipates.

The suffering is only intensified when we resist it altogether.

Over time, as you practice interrupting the automatic reflex to press the “escape button” and reach for the food, you’ll slowly but surely begin to unwind the habit of emotional eating.