(Over the last few weeks, I’ve been sharing a few of my favorite mindset shifts for taking action towards your goals, particularly when you feel stuck, unmotivated, or don’t feel like you’re making much progress. If you haven’t already had a chance, you can read the previous mindset shifts I discussed here and here. This will be the final installment of the series.)

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There’s nothing wrong with having a weight loss goal that you’re working towards.

But it can become a problem when you attach your self-worth to a number on the scale or treat that number as the sole barometer of success.

Similarly, when you let that number dictate whether it’s a “good” day or a “bad” one, or worse, use it as an excuse to judge, shame, or beat yourself up.

This cycle is vicious and exhausting and no fun.

Often we get so hyper-focused on our actions, namely: what we did or did not eat or whether or not we exercise enough.

The problem doesn’t come down to the individual actions but rather the intention behind them.

Is it coming from a place of wanting to take care of yourself and helping out that future version of you who you desire to be?

Or is your intention based solely on making that number (on the scale) go down faster or being “perfect” with your food and exercise?

This is why I love this next mindset shift!

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Mindset Shift # 3: Focus on Exquisite Self-Care

I love the concept of taking exquisite care of ourselves.

Whenever I see a client getting caught up in the diet mentality or perfectionist thinking, I encourage her to shift her focus here.

It feels more gentle—like you’re working with your body rather than against it.

It doesn’t leave room for judgement, shame or guilt, or even mindlessness, for that matter.

It’s much more intentional.

You might be wondering, what exactly does taking exquisite care of yourself look like?

Well, first, let me quickly tell you what it’s NOT.

It’s not about choosing the path of least resistance or always doing what feels easiest.

(In fact, you’ll often have to forgo short-term pleasure and comfort for long-term pleasure and gain).

And it’s certainly not about coddling yourself or never stepping outside your comfort zone.

It also goes far beyond pedicures and bubble baths (but there is certainly room for these things!).

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Here’s what taking exquisite care of yourself can look like:

– Showing up for yourself and honoring your word because what YOU want matters.

– Being gentle with yourself when you “fail,” slip up, or break promises to yourself, but also holding yourself accountable and taking ownership of your choices (and therefore your results)—which is way more empowering than blaming outside circumstances.

– Feeding yourself healthy and nourishing food because you WANT to take care of your body and keep it healthy, strong, and high-functioning so you can feel as great as you deserve.

– Enjoying that “treat” or “fun eat” guilt-free because you intentionally decided to eat it, without any drama or regret.

– Taking time to sit down and eat without distraction (yes, off of a plate) because eating in a hurried and frantic state or while standing over the kitchen counter is a recipe for mindless eating, overeating, and indigestion.

– Moving your body as a form of self-love rather than self-punishment, because your body was meant to MOVE (and b/c as they say: Move it or lose it ;))

– Loving self-discipline. Making choices for your higher good rather than always choosing what feels best or most comfortable in the moment. It’s not about criticizing yourself into taking action but rather re-directing your mind toward the vision of what you ultimately want. It doesn’t always feel good telling ourselves “no,” but we usually know when it’s in our best interest in the long run.

(For example, curling up on the couch might feel more attractive than doing that workout you’d rather skip. Or likewise, having that extra couple glasses of wine might feel fun at the time, but when you have to pay the repercussions later, i.e. disrupted sleep, headache the next day, not so much).

– Injecting more simple pleasures into your day so you’re not relying on food to make you feel better (this is where you could add pedicures, bubble baths, and other self-care body rituals!)

– Honoring your body’s natural cycles and giving yourself the precious gift of plenty of rest.

– Treating yourself lovingly and kindly; not speaking ill of yourself or your body inwardly or outwardly to others.

These are just a few examples, but do you see the common theme?

It’s really about the relationship we have with ourselves.

So by focusing on taking exquisite care of ourselves, we only stand to strengthen that relationship further.

Here’s something to ponder: Where do the “chips” naturally fall with your weight and health when you’re truly focused on taking the best care of yourself?

Why not focus more of your energy there?

~Elaine

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Ready to permanently lose weight, stop overeating, and uplevel your relationship with food?

Learn more about my private 1:1 program here.

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Download a copy of my Elegant Eating Handbook to learn simple and effective strategies for permanently living at your natural weight.