Wanting vs. Committing (+ a compelling enough reason)

Women have different reasons for coming to work with me:

…they want to lose weight

…they want to get a handle on their overeating

…they want to end the battle with food and their body

…they want to upgrade their overall health (digestion, hormones, energy, etc.).

But it’s interesting how we can want something *so* badly, yet if we were being observed by someone (maybe even a fly on the wall?), our actions would tell a different story.

It got me thinking about what it means to want something versus being committed to something.

To want – means to desire; to wish for something. You can enjoy the wanting of it, but there is absolutely no action required. It’s very passive. It’s comfortable, familiar, and feels really safe.

If you long for something, you create MORE desire for the thing you want, but it does NOT produce results. The more you want something but don’t take any action towards it, you begin to create an even larger gap between where you are and what you want.

To commit – means to follow through on a course of action, to promise to do something. There is action required.

Action creates results and creates forward momentum. You’re actively pursuing, not passively desiring.

Being 100% committed requires you to keep taking action until you get the results that you want. It requires a high level of dedication.

Just because you’re committed, though, doesn’t mean that it’s going to be smooth sailing (I spoke about this in my blog post a few weeks back). It often feels challenging, uncomfortable, and tedious.

But it means you’re committed to figuring things out, showing up for yourself, doing the work, and yes, to “failing” as many times as it takes (and having your own back when you do).

A Compelling enough reason

You’ve likely seen an example of this yourself. Someone has a heart attack or a critical medical diagnosis, and the next day they change their diet dramatically or give up smoking cold turkey.

I’ve worked with women who didn’t think they could ever give up their beloved and daily wine habit, and then they become pregnant and don’t give it a second thought (sure, maybe they still have some cravings, but it’s no longer even an option in their minds).

These are clear examples of having a powerfully compelling reason, but this is often not the case.

For example, I’ve had many conversations with women who tell me they want to stop overeating, but sometimes there’s just not a compelling enough reason to stop.

It provides them with something – pleasure, relief, an outlet, entertainment, joy, etc.

I find this especially with women who don’t really struggle with their weight (except maybe wanting to lose a few pounds). They can “get away with it,” so to speak. The benefit of overeating (the relief, distraction, or entertainment it provides) outweighs any negative consequences.

For some women, overeating deteriorates their health in different ways – stomach issues, IBS symptoms, zapped energy and feeling chronically fatigued. So the weight isn’t a compelling enough reason, but the other health issues are.

Of course, the more pain you’re experiencing, the more compelling your reason will be to give up those things causing you pain.

You may have to dig really deep to find a reason compelling enough to be 100% committed to getting your desired result.

For some women, it’s about a future vision they have for themselves that they’re holding firm to (I shared an example of this over on my Instagram.)

For other women, their compelling reason is that they want to show themselves what they’re capable of and be an example of what’s possible to their loved ones.

Some women just really want to fit into the clothes they used to wear, which may be a strong enough reason for them.

Try to look beyond just the short-term, though.

Sometimes I’ll have a client tell me that they really want to look good for an event or fit into a particular outfit for a reunion or a wedding they’re attending. And while those reasons are valid, what happens after the event is over? Will you continue with the progress you’ve made or slip back into familiar habits?

Take some time and come up with a compelling reason of your own.

The one thing I know for sure is that the more compelling your reason, the more committed you will be to your end result.

Elaine

---

Ready to permanently lose weight, stop overeating, and uplevel your relationship with food?

Learn more about my private 1:1 program here.

---

Download a copy of my Elegant Eating Handbook to learn simple and effective strategies for permanently living at your natural weight.