Your Relationship with YOU

Think about somebody who you love dearly.

It might be your partner, one of your children, a sibling, or a close friend.

How do you show up in that relationship?

I bet that you…

Speak kindly to them.

Are supportive.

Keep your commitments to them.

Honor your word.

Treat them well.

Would be considered trustworthy and reliable in their eyes.

Now think about your relationship with yourself – do you show up the same way for yourself as you do them?

The weight loss journey is like a mirror reflecting back on your relationship with yourself. It provides an opportunity to understand it better and deepen it on a whole new level.

For example, I believe that most of us would describe ourselves as someone who is trustworthy.

In fact, we probably have no problem keeping our commitments to others – and not just those people who are close to us.

Yet it’s interesting how we find it easier to uphold commitments to mere acquaintances but find it challenging to keep them to ourselves.

A perfect example of this is with planning our food.

How many times have you planned your food for the day but then ended up throwing the plan out the window?

You committed yourself to eat healthy and nourishing food that would support your weight loss efforts, but then you found yourself eating the exact opposite.

How many times have you thrown your plan out the window because it was unrealistic, too challenging, or left you too hungry?

A big part of the work we do in my private program is learning how to plan and make decisions about food ahead of time. But the purpose isn’t to see how disciplined you can be with your food.

The purpose is to build trust and confidence in yourself, know that your word is good as done, and understand HOW to take care of yourself.

It’s really about the relationship between the past, present, and future versions of you.

For example, does the present version of you (today) honor the past version of you (yesterday) who made the plan?

Did the past version of you (yesterday) take care of the future version of you (present you today) when making the plan? Did she make it realistic enough? Enjoyable? Sustainable?

To build that trust and confidence in yourself, it’s imperative to only plan what you know you will honor (and confidently follow through on); otherwise, you start to degrade that relationship with yourself.

The version of you who is planning your food is learning to trust the version of you who will execute the plan. And that version of you who is planning your food needs to take care of the version of you who will be executing the plan tomorrow.

The version of you who is then executing the plan needs to trust the version of you who created it.

Are you trustworthy?

Another area of your relationship that might need some attention is how you think and speak about yourself.

If you’re not sure what you think about yourself, two great ways will let you know really fast.

The first one is, getting out of the shower and standing in front of the mirror.

When you look at your naked body, what thoughts do you notice your brain telling you?

The second one is, standing on the scale.

When you look at that number reflecting back to you, what do you make it mean about you?

Listen for those thoughts. Don’t judge them; just become aware of them.

If they’re negative (which they often are), how can you speak more kindly?

One thought that might be helpful is: “This is my body right now, and I’m going to take care of it. And that includes speaking nicely about it.”

If you have a hard time coming up with something nice to say, imagine it’s your daughter or best friend standing in front of the mirror speaking ill towards her body.

How would you gently and lovingly redirect the narrative? Do that for yourself.

Treat YOURSELF like that person who you love so dearly.

You can’t wait until you lose the weight first before being nice to yourself.

Improving your relationship with you NOW makes the process of weight loss both easier and more enjoyable.

Because who wants to be in a relationship with somebody who trash talks them, criticizes, or is outright mean to them?

Another example is waiting to lose weight before you allow yourself to dress beautifully.

Dress beautifully now.

I’m not suggesting that you wear something that’s too small and doesn’t fit you, but something that makes you feel really good – confident, sexy, comfortable in your own skin.

You must embody that energy of weight loss now, not after you lose the weight.

So I’ll leave it there.

Often we look outside of ourselves when we want to improve our relationships, but how can you start improving the one that you’ve got to live with 24/7?

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Interested in private coaching? Check out my 3-month private coaching program to get started.

Download a copy of my Elegant Eating Handbook to learn simple and effective strategies for permanently living at your natural weight.